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So if you don't rate, just overcompensate — at least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake!
The platypus, while usually thought of as nature's joke, is actually a magickally evolved form of the beaver.
Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous.
There's glass between us! I can't deal with the infinite nature of Ryan Seacrest!
Oh, my, how the world still dearly loves a cage.
Ha! Invisible, is it? Science-gaze sees all, brainfail! There will be crotch-punching!
What profiteth it the devil to gain a man's soul, and lose the whole world?
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.
That sweet chili sauce was like a million rainbows exploding in my mouth all at once!
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Pro tip: In a pinch, "business gifts" can be used to plug anal leakage.
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