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The perfect gun is sufficient unto the day.
Girl, are you Wonderwall? Because everybody's yelling at me to quit playing you.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?
Add it all up, and you arrive at the indisputable scientific conclusion that video games are an ass magnet.
A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.
I want to tell a true story. Today, I went to go wrangle my wife's cats from her parents' house. They scratched me. They bit me. I think one of them uttered something anti-semitic. Anyway, I'm bleeding from my arms, my face, my fingers are torn to shreds. My wife, so loving and caring, comes home from work and all she says about my hideous wounds are, 'you'd better not have hurt my cats.' It was at that point that I understood, and condoned, beating your spouse to death with a bag of charcoal.
The Douchebag Porpoise does not save drowning sailors, it just mocks them as they struggle. What a jerk!
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