Traditionally, when cooking steak, there have been a few basic rules to follow. For instance, using a form of meat that is recognized by both the current culture and the human body as food; following basic food safety procedures, so as to prevent illness; not intentionally bleeding on the finishing steak... but that's just traditionally. Here at Outback Steakhouse, we say, "No rules, just right. Absolutely no rules." Food safety? Pssh! Federal law? Ugh! The laws of physics? What are you, a narc? It's weird here. The steak floats. Sometimes the steak is and also isn't, simultaneously. Sometimes the steak is a chair, and we point at the chair and we say, "that chair is a steak", and we make you eat it. That is the one rule: if we say something is a steak, you have to eat it. No questions asked. I know we said there are no rules, but that itself is a rule and so is void. You want your philosophy non-contradictory? Go to Sizzler. In the bathroom, where most places have signs saying "employees must wash hands", we just carved "land of the free" directly into the wall. There isn't even a sink in there. Heck, our bathrooms are just sealed vaults full of poisonous gases. No rules. We might kill you. We've killed a lot of people. Outback Steakhouse. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
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submitted by jenphalian, December 19, 2014
it's an actual Outback radio commercial, for sure
This quote was added December 19, 2014.