The hardest thing about finding your strength is learning how many people preferred you when you were weak.
Like the saying goes, you attract more flies if you slather the corpse with honey than if you drop it in a vat of vinegar.
"Random, but innocuous, comment." "Irreverent reply hinting at mental instability!" "You crack me up, little buddy."
This is how it SHOULD have gone. I walk up to the counter, the chick at the counter sees that I'm buying Magnums. So she looks at me, cocks her eyebrow and says "Hmm". And I'm like, "Oh, yeah". And that's how it SHOULD have gone. But that's not how it went! She just looked at me. Professionally. IS THERE NO UNPROFESSIONALITY LEFT IN THE WORLD?
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
I love that moment when you make eye contact with a dog and he slyly smiles and nods to let you know he's secretly a tiny man in a dog suit.
Compile, my soul, a list of all your blessings, / And link dynamic to the Father's grace: / Though filled your journey is with long regressions / Meandering through malloc()'s fiery place, / Still, what doth equal TRUE shall call you free(), / For all our feeble structures he knows well / And still he holds creation's prim'ry key, / The key to hashes flagged as "death" and "hell". / O let me pass the XOR gate of heaven / When once my earthly structure is destroyed! / O let thy sign-extended word be given, / Thy word that never yet return'd a void! / Will programming exist on high with Thee? / "And lo: there was no longer any C."